Words I Never Thought I’d Say

“Stop smacking your friends face with the pipet.”

“Why did you pinch his nipples with the tongs?!”

Screen Shot 2016-09-04 at 5.18.02 PMSometimes teaching science means hearing your students or yourself saying words you never thought would be in a sentence together. This can either cause some laughter or make the day seem incredibly long. After one particularly long day of “Quit shoving the wire brush down the bunsen burner” (students should have simply been identifying pieces of lab equipment) I began thinking surely I’m not alone in this. So I reached out to my #OKSci community and it did not disappoint! Not only does it feel great to know you are, in fact, not alone in this crazy world that is science teaching, I literally laughed out loud at several of the responses! Thanks so much to all the teachers that shared their experiences, you are awesome! I hope everyone else enjoys their responses as much as I did 🙂

  • When a teacher first started using stability balls in her classroom, “Stop playing with each other’s balls!! I am sorry but we don’t have blue balls, you will have to sit on the purple balls!” Melissa S., Elementary
  • “Don’t dress your dissection up as a superhero.” Traci R., High School Biology
  • “No, plants have pigments, not piglets.” Traci R., High School Biology
  • Student, “As the orgasm grows it needs water.” Teacher, “The organism, the organism, the organism!” Annette H., 5th grade
  • “If you don’t want people to know you have farted you must relax. Farts only make noise if you are tense.” Annette H., 5th grade
  • “Don’t get me started on the Uranus jokes. We need to finish the planets today. Yes, I know Uranus is a gas giant.” Annette H., 5th grade
  • “Remember your “x”? And how she left because she needed to be by herself? That’s because she was independent. And how you change depends on “y” she left and you adjusting so you can get a new girlfriend.” Melissa Jo F., High School – teaching graphing X and Y axis
  • Student, “You mean the sun is a star?” Teacher, “Yes, the sun is a star.” Lesa R., 12th grade
  • While teaching plant sexual reproduction, students says under his breath, “I get how the plant cells get together, how does that happen in humans?” Teacher, “Time to line up and go to P.E.!” Theresa B., 4th grade
  • “Gum sits in your mouth like a little sponge, absorbing chemical vapors. Doesn’t that sound like a lovely picture?” Mike F., College, Organic Chemistry
  • Student, “If pollen is plant sperm, then what is honey?”
  • Screen Shot 2016-09-04 at 5.10.16 PMTeacher, “Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.” Students, ***snickers*** Teacher, “What?! Ohhhh…” Brandi W.
  • “Sure you can eat your mealworms, they’re a delicacy in some countries!” Robin R., 6th grade science
  • “Why did you just eat the dialysis tubing?!” Natasha H., High School Biology
  • Student, “So Mendel was into plant porn?” Teacher, “Well I guess you could think of it that way.” Eric W., 7th Grade
  • Student, “So, if I’m allergic to pollen, it means I’m allergic to sperm?” Teacher, “Yes.” Ruth Z.
  • Student, “What’s a mammary gland?” Teacher, “Uh, a boob.” Student, “Oh okay, why didn’t you say so.” Lyle K., High School Anatomy
  • “Don’t lick the iron!” Mikael H., High School
  • Student(s), “Wait, are humans animals?!” Katy P.
  • “What stimulates the testes to produce sperm? C’mon kids you know this! Okay I will give you a hint, it starts with “hor-” and ends with “-mones. Oh that did not sound right…” Emily L., 7th Grade Science
  • During a scavenger hunt students came to ask her if they could borrow her fallopian tubes. Teacher, “I’m using my fallopian tubes, but you already have your own!” Liz B., 7th Grade
  • “We don’t lick the rocks!” Carrie A., 5th Grade
  • While studying the excretory system, student says, “Mrs. F. you know you can mail people poop!” Teacher, “Don’t!” Melissa F.
  • Students, “Mrs. A the frog is dead and the fish are eating it!.” Teacher, “Oh, I’m sure it’s fine. See, it’s just….ummmm yeah, it’s dead and the fish are eating it.” Students, “Why are the fish eating their friend?” Teacher, “Well…it’s like an all-you-can-eat frog buffet for the fish.” Carrie A., 4th grade
  • “Go home and ask your mom what’s the difference between an organism and an orgasm. No you can’t Google it!!!” Sue F., 7th Grade
  • “Of course the testicle is small, what were you expecting? Kelli W., 10th Grade Biology

So science teachers, know you are not alone. We are all there with you, and if you ever need to be reminded how great you are just reach out to your science community! Need to join one? #OKSci on Facebook is a great place to be 🙂

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